News from the Spider House.

Hello Slog!

Sheesh. What does one do when life starts happening and all you want to do is tell your blog about it, but no time! NO TIME!

Things that have happened:

1. A handyman came and put some terrible, terrible, dangerous, deadly acid down my shower drain. It created a chemical reaction that I could hear banging all through the pipes that run all the way under the house. It also made my entire apartment smell like the inside of a hard-boiled egg. The handyman said, "Do you know what this is?" He held up the bottle. "This is pure, concentrated evil." But--

2. My shower DRAINS. This will be especially good news for the AP, because she gets here tonight, and her shower experience will be significantly improved (sorry to other guests--Mom--who had to put up with the bath-shower (the bower, the shath) situation).

3. The clearing of the pipes, by pure concentrated evil, may make it harder for deadly, not-so-itsy-bitsy spiders to make it up the water spout. Hurrah!

4. I had a TERRIBLE dream about getting bit by a Brown Recluse spider (not yet sighted in my apt.), that looked, in my subconscious, like a tarantula encased in a bouncy ball and could smell fear, and would come bounding (bouncing) after me. Spiders. They are the central drama of my life.

5. It's spring in Lewiston, which apparently means: lawn mowers. Here's the weird thing--I can be anywhere on campus: my office, a classroom, the coffee shop, the copy room, and as soon as I open my mouth to speak, a lawn mower starts up in my immediate vicinity. I'm in my office right now and guess what?!? Lawn mower. Lawn mowers are the soundtrack to my life. My students resent it, of course, because I'm shouting even louder than I usually do.

6. I have cut the bloody hell out of my thumb. It seemed, at the time, like a good idea to slice a sharp knife through some soft cheddar cheese in the direction of my fingers. So, when blade met skin, as was inevitable, I simply said, "Well, I knew that was going to happen." And found myself a Bandaid.

7. Hmm...what was the last thing? What was it? I had something else to tell you...Oh yeah. I'm MOVING TO CALIFORNIA. Here's a song about it. (Check out the 1:20 mark for a shout out to Bea Arthur, hallowed be her name.)

Here are some California Raisins about it. I've missed you, Slog! How do you feel about living in California?