Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Pants Off Dance Off (PODO).

Here in Moscow, there is a saying that started...oh, somewhere. Somebody once said "pants off dance off," and it stuck like, well, like my shower curtain if I may say so without getting too graphic. Now, whenever we're having a really good time, or proposing to have a really good time, someone describes it as "Hey, PODO!" But it's never an actual pants off dance-off, it's just become a bit of slang, meaning "to have a really good time."

Do people say this off the Palouse, too?

Through the magic of the internet, I have done some credible academic research (Wikipedia--putting that graduate degree to WORK), and it turns out that PODO is a strip tease show that airs on something called "Fuse." Here's the real nugget of info that you'll probably need in order to function: it was hosted in its first season by Tila Tequila; in its second season by Jodie Sweetin (Stephanie Tanner of Full House); and in its third season by Willa Ford. What a list! What ladies!

In case you don't remember:
(You'll notice the lack of PANTS, as if foreshadowing where her career would go.)
(She looks like a lovechild sprung from the loins of Whitney Port from The City and Quinn from Glee.)
(I apparently have a lot to say about this video.)



I bring all of this to your attention because, um, I wanted to. And also, because today I've had pants on the brain. It's Pants Day here at the Spider House--the day I wash all of my pants. Or, almost all (I save a pair to wear, of course). I'm curious as to other people's pants washing habits. See, I have plenty of clothes, but only so many pants. I operate under the assumption that pants don't need to be washed like other items. Especially jeans. I mean, right around day ten or eleven is just when they start feeling really perfect and lived in. So, then, once every six weeks or so, I have to do a mega round of laundry because every pair of pants I own is due for a washing.

Should I be washing my pants more? Am I normal??

Here's what's probably not so normal: because of my height, and the relative length of my legs, and also--if I'm being really honest--a potentially expanding hip/thigh/butt region that causes my pants to hit higher on the ankle, none of my pants go in the dryer (ever). (When I lived in Spain, my little senora refused to understand this, which is why I walked around like a huge American high-water wearing dork and now I don't have a hot Spanish husband.) It's imperative to maintain the precious length of the pants by hanging them to dry. So, on Pants Day, my apartment looks like this:

Pants,


Pants,


PANTS!!!


On every door, on the back of every chair, hangs a wet pair of pants, looking like so many bodies that somebody de-footed and then chopped in half. And today, as I went about hanging them all, I thought to myself, "I wonder if I should tell my soon-to-be-roommate about this, or just let her find out for herself next Pants Day?"

Kendall

4 comments:

  1. Thanks for making me laugh this morning! I, in fact, don't have a pants day and wash my jeans maybe after 3 or 4 wearings AND they go in the dryer, but I don't have long legs to worry about. Man I wish I had long legs to worry about! :)

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  2. Kendall, I too have a pants day and it comes about once every week and a half. My wear to wash ratio is a bit less than yours, but that's from working with slobbery kids all day. My apartment looks about the same on washday, don’t worry, I think it’s very normal. .

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  3. KENDALL!

    As a fellow leg gangler, I can't say I've ever had an issue with my pants growing too short after a trip through the dryer. Admittedly I've never sought the attention of hunky Spanish men, who may be more scrupulous in these matters.

    Also, I try to wash my pants once a week or two. But I work in a chemistry lab, and I know that crap eventually makes its way on to my pants regardless of how careful I am.

    I've never been a big fan of washing, so I typically just use a smell based system of determining cleanliness.

    So far it has worked, and I can proudly say I'm still single! WOO!

    :(

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  4. I had no idea who sang this song prior to your post, so thank you! I like that song a lot, and it made a nice little distraction for me. : )
    As to the pants and the roommate - I say surprise her! And take pictures of her expression, that would be fun. ooh! But what if she has pants day, too, but a different day? Hmmm.

    And I bet your house smells really nice on pants day! I love the smell of laundry just out of the washer/dryer.

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